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Entry sarcastic truth.
Posted by -Ni on Jan 13 2012, 01:14 AM
Its been awfully long and I miss writing.

It feels like everything has been kept away. Under a protective shell and locked away, out of reach. I think I'm confused. Beyond words..

How could a person make my heart flutter just by looking at her, being close to her and me taking a whiff of her scent. I haven't cried. Its been a month. More than a month. I've been searching to know about her and she is out of reach.

She called the other day. Although she denied it, I heard her breathe on the other end. It kept me wondering from then on. Thinking about her and if she thought I had a girlfriend.

My thoughts are all messed up and I can't seem to find the right words to say.

I loved her.

Entry just..
Posted by -Ni on Apr 23 2011, 02:30 AM
Aviere fiducia.

To have confidence.

Trust in me.

Trust in you.

Trust that you are worth it.


I'd loved that statement the moment I found it. No, I can't speak italian. I'd googled for a faith/confidence equivalent which is not religious or corny. Well, it was for my tattoo and we shouldn't put something on that's full of regret right?

A reminder everyday to lift my head high but not too high to make everyone try looking up in the skies for Superman.

I hop on to the emotional rollercoaster too often and frequently getting caught in my mind. I don't expect blue skies and rainbows but I think happy days that can be controlled with my actions.

So, I make tantrums and sarcasm minimal. If it ain't good, talk less and only when asked. Makes happy rather than distance.

I hope its not going to end up a mistake.

Dear you people,
I love you still. Just in another way. My non-involvment is my way of protecting myself. If at the end of the day, we still make it, thats our fiducia.

simply.

Entry tonight.
Posted by -Ni on Apr 17 2011, 08:54 PM
Tonight...

I'm crying.

It feels like my heart has broken yet again. Shouldn't have held any hopes. Since I did, I'm crying.

Entry Maybe
Posted by -Ni on Mar 25 2011, 04:00 AM
I'm sitting here waiting.

Waiting for a reply. A destination.

Sometimes I wonder why all I do is wait. As though maybe one day it would prove to be something different. All this negative thoughts wouldn't stop. Maybe I'm the one holding myself back. Maybe I should have taken the first step and wait for its rejection then maybe I would have at least made a step out.


 
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