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Entry sometimes
Posted by julio on Apr 29 2010, 11:25 PM

love dearie's fb quotes:

"Everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they´re right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes, good things fall apart so that better things can fall together."

more so, this..

"Sometimes, it´s not only the bad memories that make you sad... but also the best ones that you know will never happen again."

Entry love.not.
Posted by julio on Apr 21 2010, 11:01 PM
me: mummy
mummy: sonny i gtg alr! haha anything text me hao ma?

i love my mummy. it's just few simple words. but i can always feel her care. we may talk once in a blue moon. but i can always rely on her. we meet once/twice per year? but i can always feel connected with her. i guessed it's either all or nothing..

mummy, thanks for loving your adorable son all these while. i just want you to know that i'm always there for you too. love you zui zui~


"Getting over a painful experience is like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward."


Entry f*
Posted by julio on Apr 18 2010, 03:38 PM
laogong is really right. one really has to be very careful about what he/she wished for. cause it might really happen..

i was dying to see you online. it's been so long. but when i saw you earlier, i feel the ache again..

i have been trying soooo hard to move on to let go. using work, self abuse, alcohol, cig and even playing the field..

every single fuk method i have tried, all just to make myself numb, just to make myself forget you, forget how we used to be..

but at the end of the day, it's always futile, you mean too much for me to let go..

why did you protect me so much in the past..
why did you dote on me so much in the past..
why did you do so much for me in the past..

old habits die hard. i am resistant to change. i am stubborn..

the romantic feelings can be retracted. but as for the platonic portion, that's smth i can nv take it back..

i don't care a fuk you care anot. i want to stop trying alr. just let me mope & die on my own. that's what you are best at (ever since your change). i don't care a fuk anymore!

Entry amusing gong
Posted by julio on Apr 18 2010, 12:27 AM
laogong: Oh. How come got she concert u nv go?
me: No one pei me go. Plus i bu she de. So exp.
laogong: Haha! Oh need to pay one ah. I thought free one.
me: ----__________________----
laogong: Paiseh la. I don't go concerts one what. So it didn't occur to me have to pay.
me: Dear.. If its free, then they fly all e way here open concert for wad?? Super dots and cute la u
laogong: Maybe transit ma! sad.gif
me: Hahahaha! Gong so cute yea tonight i hv cute tin t blog le! *kiss face*

me: today i plucked my eyebrow..
laogong: today you look like a background??

me: so sad inbox and sent messages all your name, so boring..
laogong: you can change the name..
me: to hers? ok?? hers!!
laogong: no. NO.. NO.......
me: you can change mine to fee, i don't mind..
laogong: really..? REALLY??? *super excited*
me: QU SI BA!

me: let's go home..
laogong: ok..
me: your home or my home?
laogong: uhhh you go back your home, i go back my home..
me: why... why not i go to yours or you come to mine?
laogong: no arguments..
me: why.. why..... why.........
laogong: no. no arguments.. no questioning..
me: =.= + sad.gif

me: how are you getting along with him?
laogong: someone whom i'll marry 20 years later..
me: huh.... but that's bigamy!
laogong: bigamy? what's that?
me: means you married another person w/o divorcing the previous one..
laogong: but we don't have a marriage cert..
me: T_T *crying sound*
laogong: okok i will get one for you..
me: really? hee!
laogong: hmmm uhhh i draw one for you ok?

me: laogong, sing bad romance for me..
laogong: *pause for a few seconds* RAH RAH.. GA GA.. OH lala.. *robotic voice*
me: okok.. stop.. STOP..

me: lol orh wb gong!
laogong: love u po. teletubby
me: eeeeee why teletub
laogong: po ma
me: -_______________________-
laogong: po is the smallest teletubby what. theres dipsy too and lala forgot the biggest
laogong: OH YEAAAAAAAAA. twinky winky! dipsy! lala! po! teletubbies! teletubbies! bla bla bla!
me: let me edit my post and add tis in
laogong: eh no!

Entry eventually
Posted by julio on Apr 11 2010, 09:34 PM

mummy gave me a pep talk, like how you used to..

we talked about geminis, about karma, about love, about letting go..

maybe you have alr tried your best. maybe i really shldn't force it on you. maybe i really shldn't get in your way..

i love you and i want the best for you..

if not having me in your life is what works best for you, then i shld accept it and just let everything go..

mummy is right. perhaps you are not the one hurting me, i'm the one hurting myself..

no worries i'll be fine, eventually i'll..

Entry fukin synchronization
Posted by julio on Apr 10 2010, 07:23 PM
slept at 5plus am today. didn't sleep well. woke up a few hours later. coz i dreamt of you AGAIN..

you have been haunting me so much. i detest this emo feeling. lying on my bed pondering over the words of your gd frd, and our past. i let the tears streamed down my cheeks, wishing so much that my existence can cease..

i don't know what to believe anymore. i don't know what's the truth and what's the facade anymore..

i don't know your thoughts. i don't know who are you. not anymore..

all the fukin synchronization is turning me into a schizophrenic. you care you care, if you really do, then why are you still in your turtle shell?!

spiteful words may hurt, but silence breaks the heart completely..

like i told your gd frd, sometimes some wounds are there for permanent. it's an empty space that will nv be filled. there will always be this void. laogong said everyone is replaceable. but to me, you are irreplaceable..

i have learnt. this is such a painful lesson learnt. a constant reminder that i should nv ever love any friend like a kin anymore..

as long as i live, not anymore..

Entry apprehensive feelings
Posted by julio on Apr 5 2010, 01:03 AM
rem i told you before, i hate to blog in herstory because i have to consider too many people, then who's gonna care about my own feelings?

instantly, you replied you care..

you know how i felt back then? it felt like even if the whole world abandoned me, you will still be standing on my side protecting me and caring for me. that's so important & precious to me..

yet now......

i told laogong i blogged a longggg draft but i dare not post it. she asked me what am i scared of. indeed, why am i still in fear and hesitation when i have alr lost you, when i alr mean nth to you. what else can be worse off??

i don't know..

i still feel so apprehensive & mindful over someone who has left for ages..

this is completely pathetic..

leave my heart, will you?

my h-e-a-r-t

Entry my cute cute CUTE laogong
Posted by julio on Apr 3 2010, 12:16 AM
laogong: yea eating strawberry choc now. tmr will give u one pack haha
me: xie xie laogong
laogong: haha laopo why u so ke qi all of a sudden
me: =.= looks like i mus alw scold u qu si ba then u wil be happy hor
laogong: HAHA eh i buy strawberry choc for u u still scold me qu si ba
me: lol dang ran yao scold la! u dun even noe wad ur own laopo like!
laogong: but there dont have chicken wing to bring back =C
laogong: WHAT really what! u go cameron highland where got chicken sell to u! only have lots and lots of strawberries and veg and tea leaves!
me: sounds like taiwan rural area
laogong: sleep.gif it IS a rural area. a village

me: u go kneel on washing board!
laogong: =C my house no washing board. washing machine can anot
me: i put u inside and switch it on, can anot
laogong: uhhhh no no no, the deal was kneeling

me: can i blog some of our cute convo lol
laogong: sleep.gif uhhh which one eh where cute i dont see where cute
me: =.= i find it cute can liao wad!!!!!!!!!!
laogong: oh okay okay okay dont so fierce. washing board vv hard to balance
laogong: sleep.gif good good. then u got alot of things to blog. dont always blog unhappy things

me: tink one title for me for blog entry
laogong: my cute cute CUTE laogong

Entry falling slowly
Posted by julio on Mar 27 2010, 12:50 PM
Kris Allen - Falling Slowly

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

totally addicted to this song..

when are you going to man up?

i have actually given you more chances than i gave to myself, that's terrible. when laogong asked me when's my blogger coming back, i replied the day when i get over you. laogong said that's like nv going to come. i hate to admit it, that's what i have been trying to ignore..

can you ever feel what you are putting me through?

i bet you can nv..

i might go amk later and i'm so afraid at the thought of it. to be back to the same place where you had a big contented smile bcoz of smth i did. it will be so hard to control the useless tears of mine, wad fuk..

Entry m.i.s.s.
Posted by julio on Mar 24 2010, 11:09 PM

laogong, i'm starting to really miss you a lil..

your morning mushy & funny texts really made my day. i was laughing to myself infront of my com man=.= i even wanted to chge your name to hers so that i will feel more elated & blessed~ oops =x don't be angry & jealous la, you are still my dearest ah gong k? lub lub u~

i miss your retard expressions & gestures esp. when i call you ah wang..
i miss your act angry face bcoz you dislike me calling you ah wang..
i miss your lame & amusing words whenever you try to entertain me..
i miss our frenzy over FA..

you must rem the promise you made today hor, if not i'll divorce you again. LOL. we are gonna **** **** a year later! hohos! =.= don't worry, i won't stray for these few days when you are abroad. really didn't expect you to text me just before you left. made me feel we are really a couple. *shy* you don't fall real for me hor, and i won't for you either..

lucky or not, she'll be the 1st and only and last bung i'm serious about, thou she don't even care..

anyway, i'll stay at sg to wait for your return, and i'm soooo awaiting our anni celeb next month! i might really wear a dress IF i'm in good mood. LOL. so have you found a good tattoo artist alr?


stop invading my dreams..




[李玟 - 往日情]

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