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Entry Moving on...
Posted by psychedelicbitch on Jan 30 2011, 06:24 PM
This space has been great.
But I don't fit in this all scene anymore.

I'm going to move on.
It's been a journey for the past 2 years.

It has been a close knitted family.
LBGT should start growing more.

I'm gone!

Cheerios~

Entry Random Blahs
Posted by psychedelicbitch on Jan 20 2011, 10:08 PM
You smile, I smile then we laugh nervously together.

We do small talks here and there to keep the conversation going.

You look sideways and I look straight into you.

Its different when you meet your friend's friend.

It seems to be much easier to click off cause you have a common friend.

The randomness of having to make new friends in your everyday life.

Some you meet, feels like you've been friends for ages.

Some that you've met, still feel the awkwardness in the air.

Some that you meet just end up being a one time meeting.

There seems to be a lot of different encounters.

Some nice and sweet but not lasting.

Some awkward and weird but kept in the memory bank forever.

Some just feels right and it just blossoms into a beautiful friendship.

Is making friends a challenge now compared to before?

Yes.

Its easier when you're a kid.

You don't have doubts, questions, worries, assumptions.

You just make friends with whoever, whenever, wherever.

As you get older.

Things get in the way.

You let the past affect you, the present and everything that is not important.

Making friends shouldn't be that hard.

I love to watch kids play at the playground.

Yes, they fight over the most ridiculous matter but reconcile easily.

The hearts they carry are innocent and pure.

Growing up kind of stains it a little bit by bit.

So by the time we stand still with time and realized it.

Its half stained that there is no turning back.

But to maintain the other pure half.

Entry So Difficult!
Posted by psychedelicbitch on Jan 19 2011, 05:40 PM
To date, I have been jobless for 2 months.
It's irritating cause of the dwindling savings.
Interviews in and out on every other day.
But not securing a job!

Maybe I ought to take a walk.
Or get a friend to drive me around.
Take in the fresh air and breathe in the delights.
Then continue with this boring job searching crap.

This is not only stressing me out.
It's stressing my mum out!
Argh! I want to work.
But work in a place where I know I would stay on.

I'm going on to job agency sites, jobsdb, jobstreet, jobscentral.
It's tiring for the eyes to be staring at the screen looking for something suitable!
I should just look for a sugar mommy or something.
Meow!

Entry Sweet Sweet Encounter
Posted by psychedelicbitch on Jan 14 2011, 03:21 PM
Your smile was captivating.
Your looks are mesmerizing.
Your voice is so very tender yet endearing.
The way you hold on to our cigarettes is sexy.

The feelings you evoke out of me is refreshing.
Not for the longest time have I felt this way.
For a stranger.
Not even someone I know would evoke this feelings.

The old-fashioned of describing would be this.
The heart pounding so loudly against my chest, almost as if it's going to come out.
The fluttering of butterflies in the tummy, making me feel uneasy.
The dryness of the throat and lips to speak.

All were present when you sit in front of me.
Ever so short the time that was spent with me.
Is the first for this very new year for me.
I don't know where you would be next.

But I do know that I would never forget such an encounter.
With a beautiful you,
If I get to see you again.
Remind me to get your number.

Loves, A


Entry I don't go there anymore cause it hurts
Posted by psychedelicbitch on Jan 3 2011, 11:25 AM
It has been 5 years now. Since I actually took the initiative to take a stroll there. I've been avoiding that area for the longest time unknowingly. I didn't realized it till last week.

I didn't let my legs bring me there. There are far too many precious and painful memories that involves you. But last week, I decided that I would take a morning stroll since I am still very wide awake.

Taking that the stroll in the morning is very refreshing. But as I walked, the memories came flooding back to me. I didn't have anyone with me to say it to. I just let it come and flood my entire mind.

Memories of you, your smile, your haughtiness, your laughter, your tears, your every emotion expressed on your face. The way you hook your arm around mine. The way you would run in front of me silly. The way you tease me by pressing your sweating body against my arms.

It's no wonder, I stopped walking pass that area, cause it hurts so much that you're not with me anymore. Even the environment there has changed, bits and bits of you still lingers but mostly are from my memories.

I have to take a deep breathe to absorb everything. Every detail of the environment screams your memory. Your existence in that spot over here and there. Everywhere I looked, there is a piece of you there.

It made me smiled but at the same time it made me teared. I can't imagine that you're actually gone. You're not with me anymore. You can't protect me, you can't laugh with me, you can't smoke with me in the late nights, you can't comfort me when I need someone, cause you're not here anymore.

It's going to be the 6th year that you've left me. I can't ask for anything much. I can only walk through that area if I want to relive those memories that belongs to you and me.



Entry Thank god! 2010 is going to be over!
Posted by psychedelicbitch on Dec 30 2010, 12:43 AM
I had plentiful of ups and downs this year.
Never expected to be dumped, cheated upon from a 2 year relationship.
Never expected to be working with a good friend and have issues.
Never been out of a job for long periods of time.

So many things, events, commotion this year.
Mostly unexpected, some pleasant, some unforgettable, some still wondering.
Well, this year has allowed me to look at things from a different point of view.
Met a number of people, some nice, weird, crazy, emotional, lovely, friendly...

Finally the year is going to be over.
A new year for a fresh start and new beginning.
No need to ponder about the past.
No need for questions just more hope for the present.

Short and sweet.
Bye to 2010, Hi to 2011, big smile for everyone.

Entry Too Much Time, Too Much Thoughts
Posted by psychedelicbitch on Dec 20 2010, 04:15 AM
I really admire mothers the most.
The hardships they have to go through bringing up a child.
Always constantly, worrying over their children.
Wanting the best for their children.

I've seen it from my own eyes.
How my mom would work all the odd jobs she can find to support the family.
She would make sure that everyone is fed before she eats her meal.
She always tries her hardest to make each and every one of us happy.

No matter how much I think about it.
I don't think, the remaining part of my life is ever enough to repay her kindness.
What a mother can do for her child is endless.
That always amazes me.

I have seen 3 different woman, going through motherhood.
Seeing the change in them and the changes around them.
It does make me smile and ache as well.
The way they can get over a high fever just to make sure their kids are safe and sound.

I can never thank my own mother enough, for bringing me up to be what I am.
I think without her support, I would never be this independent, confident or happy.
But as I get older each year, I see all the old injuries haunting her.
Her bones are aching, getting breathless.

It scares me, but I always have the reality in my head that one day, she would leave me.
Nothing can stop that but I can continue to create as much memories as possible.
Always making sure that, every moment of her life now is full of happiness.
I can't be sure that she is happy all the time.

But I know that if there is anything that I can do within my power to make her happy.
I would, she is very precious to me.
I know of people out there who is not as lucky as I am to have such a mother.
Who accepts me for what and who I am and even loves my partners as much as I do.

She is the most amazing mother a person can have in their life.
I am lucky to have her as my mother, friend, sister all in one.
Thank you for bringing me up, watching over me, making sure that I don't get hurt.
Now it is my turn to take care of you and I will,


Entry Rants of the Moment
Posted by psychedelicbitch on Dec 11 2010, 03:01 AM
At this very moment as I am typing this, my sonny boy is chewing and playing with a lizard's tail that he has caught in my room. I don't think I am fazed by anything that boy brings into my room anymore. Experiences with having a kitty in your house ever since young, kind of makes you immune to such things.

This is very random but I am a very random person from time to time. I can sprout out things with no link to the topic of the conversation. Been bumping about in the house, sleeping in the morning and waking up in the afternoon. My dearest mum is heading for Gentings in like 7hrs from now for 4 days.

What do I want to do for the year 2011? What are my plans, goals, dreams? I do know that I have a list of things I want to do. Simple little things like, staying out late at the beach with friends, dying my hair purple, staying over at a friend's place, and most importantly, going for a short holiday nearby.

I like to lean on people from time to time but there is something that I've realized, is that I don't even show that side for me wanting to lean on someone that people don't even know that I have that side of me. Even the strongest walls, fall upon long duration of wear and tear, nothing lasts forever.

Smile and laugh, when you're not sure what the conversation, joke, comment was about. That is what most people would do. I ask what is it about, I am confrontational like that. I don't like to guess all the time. I don't wait around for things to happen either. That side of me that I show as me, scares people off, or intimidated people.

My buddy told me that I need to mellow that side of me. I am started to be a guy, which explains why femmes are attracted to me without me knowing?! I am a girl, who has a very loud personality but also has a soft side too. I don't walk around winking at girls, but my personality does make them look my way, be it good or not.

Argh... Lame shit. I am going as planned. Do the little happy things that makes me happy. I need to meet up with my darlings, someone also owes me a meeting, even though she might be swamped with shit herself. I want to do things. I do also need to find a job!

All right. enough of random rants for the night. Need to get some sleep before sending mom to the airport later and coming home to a slightly empty house cause mom's not home. I do hope she enjoys herself out there. Being jobless and not having your favorite person at home sucks.

Entry I feel silly!!!
Posted by psychedelicbitch on Nov 26 2010, 07:36 PM
When you have gotten an i Phone, and you also own an i Touch Pod.

Its super duper silly to hold out both at the same time in public!

Its not like I want to gain status by showing both!

I just happen to want to save the battery life on the phone for calls and smses.

I don't want to use the iphone for music and games and have it die on me!

But seriously the stares I got from the train cabin was massive.

I literally blushed!

I don't blush easily by the way so can you imagine my embarrassment!

I need to be careful about pulling both gadgets out at the same time in future!

I have a super long day tomorrow!

I hate that I have to get up early just to make a complaint for my uncle!

But I think I would be able to get good returns from there.

Now its time to decorate the gift I have for my Darling's birthday tomorrow.

Entry Gwah...
Posted by psychedelicbitch on Nov 10 2010, 11:44 PM
Being really sick is not fun at all.

It started out with an itchy throat and runny nose with a slight fever.

Then it went to a super duper high fever towards Monday night.

My brain was boiling and so was my eyes.

I had ice pack on my forehead 24hrs.

I took 3 cool showers to bring the 39.5 degrees fever down.

I was already weak to my knees.

Feeling light-headed and unable to focus on any one thing.

Everything seems to be in a blur.

Mom brought me back to the doc but was referred to the hospital instead.

I can't even understand what the doctor was saying to me.

He put me on the nebulizer machine.

Took my blood for tests.

Then put me on a drip cause I was dehydrated and looked like shit.

Then 2nd cycle on the nebulizer before going for an x-ray.

After all that, I was diagnosed with Viral Bronchitis.

Given a hell load of medicine.

Tablets, lozenges, cough syrup. Disgusting shit.

Bed rest for the whole week till the wheezing stops.

I have not been to work since last thursday till now.

I can only return on monday.

That is total of 10 days away from work including weekend.

That sucks a lot.

7 days unpaid leave.

Crap.

I cough like an uncle and the plehgm is not coming out of my system.

Have a headache whenever I cough too hard but nothing comes out.

I'm thinking of heading back to work even though I am not suppose to.

Doubt mom would let me go either.

Crap.

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